Ep. 67 | 2 Bears, 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer start off this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave by discussing the time Bert's spent in Rome. They also talk about how fast Bert is in the bedroom, shooting their Super Bowl commercials, Marilyn Manson's abuse accusations, Dustin Diamond's passing, and their most extreme heckler stories.




8 févr. 2021




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Commentaires 100
John Marino
John Marino Il y a 2 heures
What the fuck I was born in bryn mar hospital too
MrPierreBoch Il y a jour
Heh this Bart guy is really funny
Ethan S.
Ethan S. Il y a jour
If you actually believe bert’s story at the end. You’re an idiot.
Orange Surfer
Orange Surfer Il y a jour
Bert is so fucking stupid funny ,omfg .
Andrew Justus
Andrew Justus Il y a 2 jours
Tom I went and saw you a few years ago in Springfield Missouri and there was a “Karen” in the audience and she was disruptive throughout your whole set and I’m honestly sad you didn’t address it
Anthony Radosti
Anthony Radosti Il y a 3 jours
Hey tommy dip shit you’re taking too many edibles too late. Take fast acting edibles that act within 20 minutes, this limits the tolerance rising.
Daniel Il y a 3 jours
I'm sure "gangbangers" were at the show Bert....
John McClane
John McClane Il y a 3 jours
1:03:05 the joey diaz 1000mg edible guide
Gonzo Got Games
Gonzo Got Games Il y a 4 jours
Bert Reminds me of Risitas on FRvid. Please search it up! Respectfully.
Blake Harrison
Blake Harrison Il y a 4 jours
Does Bert not know Life According to Jimmy
Blake Harrison
Blake Harrison Il y a 4 jours
I grew up an Alabama fan but Bo Jackson is a freak of nature, truly unreal talent
JBreezy87 Il y a 4 jours
Nobody was gonna kill AOC and fyi her story was full of shit.
Hayden Prunest
Hayden Prunest Il y a 3 jours
that pissed me off so much.
Zachary Murray
Zachary Murray Il y a 4 jours
Derran brown did it where he got a studio audience to vote to kill someone using mob mentality
Special Officer Doofy
Special Officer Doofy Il y a 5 jours
2 of the least “funny” “comics” out there. Seriously this is a fuckin disgrace
Alex C
Alex C Il y a 5 jours
Bruce “I just discovered self-control” Kirchner
Steven Phillips
Steven Phillips Il y a 5 jours
AOC wasn't even in the same building when that shit went down.
brokenathkete07 Il y a 5 jours
Sapp ran a 4.3
brokenathkete07 Il y a 5 jours
Lied. 4.69
allyson vastano
allyson vastano Il y a 5 jours
The show exists it was called boiling point
Corey Goodin
Corey Goodin Il y a 5 jours
Hershel Walker fought a pro MMA fight when he was like 50 and he had a 6 pack.
Charlie Nice
Charlie Nice Il y a 5 jours
You gotta watch the real bros of Simi Valley
Shardhoney Il y a 5 jours
"AOC could have gotten killed" ok but she wasnt even at the capitol she was in her office playing soldier lol ohh Bert
mark smith
mark smith Il y a 6 jours
The worst thing about cancel culture? Seeing 2 grown men held by their balls forced to sing falsetto
Finstor Il y a 6 jours
Buck O'neil was one of the greatest guys to listen to, talking baseball.
somecsguy Il y a 6 jours
That lump under the armpit comment was almost definitely nick dipaolo. Saw him use it at the Cellar once
john asshat
john asshat Il y a 8 jours
MTVs boiling points is very similar to the tv idea Bert described.
Malcolm Exxx
Malcolm Exxx Il y a 8 jours
“I gotta be the guy that brings you to your lowest place.” what lmao.
Hejcior Il y a 8 jours
42:00 wonder how many times Tim slipped and said "shit more" while reading that commercial.
Adam Groves
Adam Groves Il y a 8 jours
Tom keeps bert around for comic relief
Matt McLellan
Matt McLellan Il y a 9 jours
I really do wanna see Bruce and Tom do crack. I can’t even begin to imagine Bart even more talkative!
Nerdvana North
Nerdvana North Il y a 9 jours
Bert is slippin
smokinone951 Il y a 9 jours
AOC would not have been killed. lmfao, she wasnt even there, she had been evacuated already. shes already been called out on it,
Mr Poop
Mr Poop Il y a 9 jours
5 people died that day? Have you guys done ANY independent research? 🐑 Honestly though, what did I expect? Hey, how's LA?
19Burgandy Il y a 10 jours
Bert is such typical judgmental liberal. "He huts so he must have bad political views..... Always attacking are fucking right to bear arms how we fuckingn became a independent country
19Burgandy Il y a 10 jours
Bert can be a little pussy when it comes to saying certain things.... Only gives power to ppl that wana cancell anyone for anything so they get s power trip and maybe their name gets mentioned once.........
Bobo The Clown
Bobo The Clown Il y a 10 jours
Boiling point was on MTV
Aaron Whitesel
Aaron Whitesel Il y a 10 jours
Bert I would like to help you with your road rage. As someone who suffers from a similar affliction and has figured out how to cope with it I feel as though I may have some insight for you. A few tiny changes could impact your daily travels for the rest of your life.
Exnier Il y a 10 jours
When Bert pauses and stares blankly before he talks you know it’s “uh-hundred” percent a made up story.
Brandon Calder
Brandon Calder Il y a 10 jours
Alcohol really helps your body respond well to exercise haha
Lighthouse094 Il y a 10 jours
C'mon fellas, way to ostracize more of your fan base. "Sneaky conservative" he hints so his politics must be out there. Bart you keep doing this, "I never talk about politics"and then you underhandedly cut down conservatives. Maybe take a look at politics from more than Facebook and the other people in California. Most of your fan base isn't in blatant liberal states. Smh
Chano Il y a 10 jours
I used to look forward to this podcast
Timewaits4no1 Il y a 10 jours
🐦y is so beautifully full of $hit. It's actually amazing. I mean who else justifies taking multiple shots of whisky @ 6am as "celebrating my power!"
Jason Machado
Jason Machado Il y a 10 jours
Don’t believe Bert was in the right about that driving incident, don’t usually believe anything he says tbh lol
anthony petty
anthony petty Il y a 11 jours
" I have to be the guy to take you to your lowest place"...every guys dream, lol
Jake Romanciwicz
Jake Romanciwicz Il y a 11 jours
Playing with the turd 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Cj Savvage
Cj Savvage Il y a 11 jours
These two are the heaviest lightweights ive ever seen ... i eat 1000mg of thc no problem. And as far as Xanax goes well half a mg seems very low.. lol
Taylor Goetz
Taylor Goetz Il y a 10 jours
Shaun Morris
Shaun Morris Il y a 11 jours
Heard Louisville, got excited. Story continued, less excited.
Hermes Sanchez
Hermes Sanchez Il y a 11 jours
I ran 6 miles is blane kristna's speak for walked from the toilet to the coich. No way he's running even 2 miles a day
Ryan Jones
Ryan Jones Il y a 11 jours
The difference with the rage situation was you had the wherewithal to stfu and not get yourself caught up in some bs. People who don’t must reap what they sow.
Ryan Jones
Ryan Jones Il y a 11 jours
Ryan Jones
Ryan Jones Il y a 11 jours
50mg would kill Brent, uh-oh
Ryan Jones
Ryan Jones Il y a 11 jours
“The key is the smoke weed all the time” -Tommy Amen brother!
Still squeezin'
Still squeezin' Il y a 11 jours
Turns out Bruce Kreischner does not only smell bad and makes love to dogs, he also can't let go of the racism.
Chris Dennis
Chris Dennis Il y a 11 jours
It's like Burt only knows one word for when he likes something... obsessed. lol we'll have to come up with a new disorder for him...OOD. Obsessive Obsessed Disorder lol
Paul LeBon
Paul LeBon Il y a 10 jours
Joe Jim
Joe Jim Il y a 11 jours
The Postman
The Postman Il y a 11 jours
Aoc wasn't in the building. She fabricated her story. Tim Pool breaks it down really well
Steven Asplund
Steven Asplund Il y a 11 jours
Bob interrupted ted’s story as soon as it was getting good 😢
Jamie Lertoria
Jamie Lertoria Il y a 12 jours
Bert "I had a boyfriend" Kreischer.
R S.A Il y a 12 jours
I might be super late.. But wtf happened to the opening theme song with the bear? It was really good. Did the guy that mixed it pull some copyright shit and the bears had to nix it from their episodes?
DM R Il y a 12 jours
The storming the capitol was a complete joke with staged photo ops. There were four deaths, none of them related to the protesters' "violence". An obvious psyop. Can't even believe the legitimacy of those supposed deaths. Dum dum Tom
Paul Salibe Jr.
Paul Salibe Jr. Il y a 12 jours
AOC was not gonna get killed nor was she close to being killed. Jesus Christ
Jack Jack
Jack Jack Il y a 12 jours
Hey Tom, can you replace Bert with Josh Potter. Bert is annoying as hell. Seems like he shovels down adderall and bitches about rolling on molly too much.
Craig Brinkman
Craig Brinkman Il y a 12 jours
You don't want crack you want freebase
Spencer Rugg
Spencer Rugg Il y a 12 jours
I wish it wasnt so obvious that they only listen to CNN
Paul LeBon
Paul LeBon Il y a 10 jours
I'm glad that it's obvious that they have a healthy contempt for Fox "News."
Jessy John Tavares
Jessy John Tavares Il y a 12 jours
Okay like I ain't trying to flex. But I'm a Canadian bong smoker 😂😂 and like 100 milligrams is basically what I'll do every night. 100 mg Jessy every night no devil seen. Joey Diaz is the only comic I would be scared to do edibles with. It's just weird to hear people who aren't Canadian talk about their dosage, and I'm like whoa. We use cannabis alot up here if 100 ain't shit for me g
Dillon Mann
Dillon Mann Il y a 12 jours
Almost like "at da time Tommy" they did not get the same as the other guys
pyro buscus
pyro buscus Il y a 12 jours
hey, no. the people who caused violence in the capital were paid to do so. manufactured opposition. there were antifa members masquerading as Trumpers. in addition, trump said peacefully make your voices heard. he was aquited for incitement. because he didn't incite.
Dillon Mann
Dillon Mann Il y a 13 jours
What's up with screech dieing?
Dillon Mann
Dillon Mann Il y a 13 jours
So in episode 6 of the new Walker Texas Ranger TV show there's a character in the show that actually uses the term "nightmeer"
deziree lynn
deziree lynn Il y a 13 jours
smh bert... and right before persian new year😤
Julie Burgoni
Julie Burgoni Il y a 13 jours
Livestream was a blast!
Anthony Jackson
Anthony Jackson Il y a 13 jours
How do you go from talking about Nikki Glazer to five minutes later saying you didn’t no any girl that loves anal. When every podcast she’s on, 3 podcasts eps between the two of you, she talks about her love of anal. And how she prefers it.
Teeguner -
Teeguner - Il y a 13 jours
shity people stories should be a segment on this show I really enjoyed it.
Jamie Sucie
Jamie Sucie Il y a 13 jours
LOL! Working out has nothing to do with a person not getting COVID. Another great Bertism
William Luca
William Luca Il y a 13 jours
1:15:55 2 Bears 1 Cave historical moment! Tim told an interesting story without being cut off by Brent!
gorillawarfair Il y a 13 jours
Dustin diamond got kinda screwed by saved by the bell. He carried that show but was only remembered as the jokey side character.
Simon Malmgren
Simon Malmgren Il y a 13 jours
was the guy with the bachelorett party Andrew Santino ? i could see him saying that
Brandon Davis
Brandon Davis Il y a 13 jours
If Bret smokes crack Tim wont get a word in
Brien Davis
Brien Davis Il y a 13 jours
These two sound so stupid talking about aoc she wasnt even in the building. Her story was proven false. The fuckin r words are so dumb sometimes
Todd Strong
Todd Strong Il y a 13 jours
Tom is quite good at plugging the product. That was my highlight of the podcast
rick hietala
rick hietala Il y a 13 jours
He stole the nightmere bit from William Montgomery
Itachi Tsukuyomi DCUO
Itachi Tsukuyomi DCUO Il y a 13 jours
Love how the SECOND Bret starts digging a hole for himself Tom hands him two more shovels and a miners helmet with a little light on it
Vinx-Splats Il y a 7 jours
lmaooo frr
Dom Velasquez
Dom Velasquez Il y a 12 jours
I didn’t know why I loved these 2 so much... until I read this
James Masuda
James Masuda Il y a 12 jours
This describes their friendship dynamic to a T
Josh Harris
Josh Harris Il y a 13 jours
GUYS I just heard another poor schmuck out here saying nightmeere AND it is in Episode 6 of Wanda Vision at 7 minutes 39 seconds SOMEONE PLEASE VERIFY this is driving me crazy now damn you Brent Bwahahaha
Terrible Gamers
Terrible Gamers Il y a 13 jours
Fuck saved by the bell, screech was the only good thing about that show
Sean Li
Sean Li Il y a 14 jours
The lowly refrigerator acromegaly order because prison plausibly pat mid a quizzical asparagus. woebegone, moaning spear
Matt D
Matt D Il y a 14 jours
Watch "the people's mayor" it's the funniest shit I've ever seen tom do
Stefan Schulz
Stefan Schulz Il y a 14 jours
Watching Bruce tip toe around potentially getting himself canceled in this podcast was like watching a drunk walrus ride a unicycle.
Dave c
Dave c Il y a 14 jours
Michael Jordan....
J Keid
J Keid Il y a 14 jours
Ogbose49 Il y a 14 jours
Deion was track fast also. Don't forget about Hershal Walker.
hatchbackhound Il y a 14 jours
We all know Bert and Tom can drink but. I have yet to hear about them drinking things out of their wheelhouse. Fancy wiskey, Fernet, Chartreuse, Absinthe...
Brian Maisch
Brian Maisch Il y a 14 jours
Bert is a bad person. He thinks it is funny to see if he can drive home before his Xanax impairs him. I am glad he didn't kill anyone that day.
Crow47 Il y a 14 jours
"Is tHeRe cOrOnA iN it??" -Bruce Kersher
Michael Goodrich
Michael Goodrich Il y a 14 jours
Put a 50 rock in a blunt. That is better then just crack.
jack danielson
jack danielson Il y a 14 jours
anyone watching wandavision, in episode 6 about early in the episode one of agents clearly says ' then this nightmere will end.' I had to watch it several times to make sure, but brent isnt the only wan. I thought crystals was crazy.
Jason Landers
Jason Landers Il y a 14 jours
For someone who drinks that much Bert should 100% not start weed... Drinking an smoking never goes well an it's gonna put him off
Jasper Jansen
Jasper Jansen Il y a 14 jours
no bert, no one sounds like that... pigs do though
Michael Ohman
Michael Ohman Il y a 14 jours
Oh God No!😝 They just said "Nightmeer" in episode 6 of wandavision 7:37
Billzy N
Billzy N Il y a 14 jours
It's funny how Cunt is such a bad word in the US.....but here in Australia we use it like an everyday word like it someone called me a cunt would just be like yeah ok
the magic conch
the magic conch Il y a 14 jours
I know they don't play video game but I would love to see them play p.t. don't know if they could handle it 😈
Trevor Link
Trevor Link Il y a 14 jours
Why is there not new comedians?
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